post

“An Update!” by Josh Kane

Hey
It’s Josh
This is what’s happening:

I have chosen to hold off on posting this week’s episode because it feels like, upon listening, that I have talked entirely too much about concepts that are only somewhat related to my own true experience. I was giving advice, offering technical practices and attaching some expectations to them around the little details of enlightenment.

Who knows what will wake anyone up… It’s not my place to tell you how you will feel from doing something. It is my belief that credibility depends on one’s actions being fully aligned with one’s speech. I; WE, do our best.

We accepted when we first started this, Ian and I, that we would be authentic to the best of our ability. We would be vulnerable and open to the best of our ability. And like the constitution of the united states, we would be a fixed object like a new river, with the ability to change and adapt to what will certainly be, just by flowing and letting the bedrock below do its thing. Make space.

We travel, still reaching out and connecting across thousands of miles, through thousands of seconds of stillness, hoping we’ll be present enough where we are at to one day fall helpless into the arms of Mother Earth and Father Sky. LA, CT, AU, UK, CA, NY… Step by step, we have seen this journey come so far, pouring wide open so we can feel empty… That emptiness of being fulfilled by the knowing that we have done all we can.

Remembering at last, with no hope of forgetting ever again, that we are eternal.

We are planning a trip to Italy to do some workshops in August, and that’s exciting for both of us. We are doing our best to keep up with everything. We imagine you are too, whoever you are.

Thanks for listening to my little check-in. I miss sharing so much with so many people at once, even though it’s so scary. To be seen by you, and wonder what you think, breathe through that, and then try my best to stay present with how it feels to be who I am, whether i understand or not, whether I try or I don’t. It’s all happening just right, otherwise it would’t and we would all do something else.

Maybe you agree. maybe not. Maybe you are still growing, like me, and that feels good. It feels true. Thanks for letting me into your world. You’re welcome in mine anytime… with boundaries, I would hope.

Aho

Share
post

Episode 30: The Dance – Movement Meditation – Part 1 of 4

This is the first of another four part series focusing on Movement Meditation.

Enjoy this week’s discussion, and walk well in awareness.  Check us out on iTunes and on Facebook/Twitter @shaman_rocks

Dance, Dance, DANCE!!!

To visit the Awesome Melbourne Tao Centre we talked about contact Pete on: 0419 348 992

Music for this week’s episode is the work of our resident Rockstar Josh Kane.

Share
post

The Double-D : ‘End Search’

Dis-Comfort.

Dis-Cussion.

Dis-Tance.

 

I moved from Los Angeles, CA to Westport, Connecticut last December.  Before I left, I was in a monogamous relationship with a woman.  My decision to leave came with some heavy consequences. Specifically, our relationship coming to an end.

I wasn’t sure who decided it was over.  I wasn’t sure about anything, really.  I get messages from God about all kinds of things.  Usually, it’s something like a melody or a poem, but when God told me to leave LA and go be with my family, I had no idea what to do, or how to say “No, I have a girlfriend.  I have a career.  I have a life here, and I don’t want to go.”   Those thoughts became questions in my mind, and God responded, quietly:

“You will go because your family is the reason there is a You to have a girlfriend, a career and a life.  They will be gone someday…gone to a place that only memories can touch.  Choose wisely.”  Pretty awesome advice, huh?  All religions aside, God is my homey.

Anyways, I gave in to my fears and trusted the message.  I told myself that the move changes nothing.  I’ll still be the drummer for Uh Huh Her; still be a producer and poet and songwriter; still have my dance family connections in LA to come visit and keep in touch with.  AND!!  I’ll be close to my family.

The only thing that seemed to really change, was us.

She blocked me on Facebook, and when I reach out to her she is cold and distant.  I get it, and it also hurts.  I’ve googled her name and done image searches when I feel alone and wishing things were different.  It’s a strange feeling, looking back via Google searches on a relationship because I’ve been blocked on social networks.

Synchronicity being what it is, and hearts being what they are, life brought someone back into my life who used to hold the space at my side JUST as I’m in the middle of this enormous life shift/break-up/family awakening. And saying all the things a guy really wants to hear.  Naturally, I’ve gone online to look at her pictures too, and wonder about the meaning of it all…

End Search.  You are not your picture.  You are no longer alive in that frozen moment.  All your beliefs, your smell, your direction, every hair on your head is something new and different now.  Those moments are gone.  Somewhere you are making new frozen moments, like popsicles.  I can’t just move on and forget, and I don’t wanna fill the space with anything except time…

even though, not-so-secretly, I do.

 

 

~ rckstr

 

Share