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M-2-M – Remembering Now – 2013/03/27

I’m listening to Snatam Kaur sing the Sikh prayer “Poota Mata Kee Asees” (Mother’s blessing). It summarises my current experience in one line: “May you never forget God, even for a moment”.

Feel free to replace the word God with Now, Life, Truth, the Universe or any traditional name for Creator.

Over the last few months I’ve spent a lot of time with a dear old friend. His heart no longer beats due to cancer. It’s been an experience… Any words I use to describe it are just a best effort. I’ve felt like a humble student through the whole process. Listening has been my main focus. That’s listening. Not a story about it or attachment to listening which would be a story and distracting from actually being here too.

I found it useful to just slow down, breathe and feel the life force in this body. It was a great reminder and gave me space to stay in and around now. From this presence I could relax into just listening.

What a time to listen! Each person going through such a unique processes. In just being, my heart naturally opens in compassion. Feeling all of it and letting it be what it is.

Listening gave me clarity and honesty with others as well as with my own process. In sensitive awareness I could see stories starting and it was very clear they were stories. Like on old habit made clear on the canvas of silence. The perspectives from which they came is also clear and these thoughts often feel kind of artificial and soft. When feeling an urge I’ve just been bring presence to it. Shining light on the priority, source and truth in an instant of honest awareness. It’s a new, deeper and much more grounded place of perspective that feels easier, simpler and more natural than living meditation has felt in the past.

The moment to moment practice I am living is as Snatam says: “Never forget God, even for a moment”.
Just feeling each moment now.
If I get distracted, that was needed and I can remember to feel now again… now.
It feels like a mother open heartedly adoring her child though it’s directed at every moment and every thing… Myself included.

It took some sitting practice to help build this habit. The meditative states I was feeling while sitting naturally made their way into my life in unique and sometimes surprising ways.

I love this mothers blessing. I love the meaning, the intention, the wisdom and how it feels to sing it.
Thank you Snatam Kaur for sharing!

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Episode 30: The Dance – Movement Meditation – Part 1 of 4

This is the first of another four part series focusing on Movement Meditation.

Enjoy this week’s discussion, and walk well in awareness.  Check us out on iTunes and on Facebook/Twitter @shaman_rocks

Dance, Dance, DANCE!!!

To visit the Awesome Melbourne Tao Centre we talked about contact Pete on: 0419 348 992

Music for this week’s episode is the work of our resident Rockstar Josh Kane.

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The Double-D : ‘End Search’

Dis-Comfort.

Dis-Cussion.

Dis-Tance.

 

I moved from Los Angeles, CA to Westport, Connecticut last December.  Before I left, I was in a monogamous relationship with a woman.  My decision to leave came with some heavy consequences. Specifically, our relationship coming to an end.

I wasn’t sure who decided it was over.  I wasn’t sure about anything, really.  I get messages from God about all kinds of things.  Usually, it’s something like a melody or a poem, but when God told me to leave LA and go be with my family, I had no idea what to do, or how to say “No, I have a girlfriend.  I have a career.  I have a life here, and I don’t want to go.”   Those thoughts became questions in my mind, and God responded, quietly:

“You will go because your family is the reason there is a You to have a girlfriend, a career and a life.  They will be gone someday…gone to a place that only memories can touch.  Choose wisely.”  Pretty awesome advice, huh?  All religions aside, God is my homey.

Anyways, I gave in to my fears and trusted the message.  I told myself that the move changes nothing.  I’ll still be the drummer for Uh Huh Her; still be a producer and poet and songwriter; still have my dance family connections in LA to come visit and keep in touch with.  AND!!  I’ll be close to my family.

The only thing that seemed to really change, was us.

She blocked me on Facebook, and when I reach out to her she is cold and distant.  I get it, and it also hurts.  I’ve googled her name and done image searches when I feel alone and wishing things were different.  It’s a strange feeling, looking back via Google searches on a relationship because I’ve been blocked on social networks.

Synchronicity being what it is, and hearts being what they are, life brought someone back into my life who used to hold the space at my side JUST as I’m in the middle of this enormous life shift/break-up/family awakening. And saying all the things a guy really wants to hear.  Naturally, I’ve gone online to look at her pictures too, and wonder about the meaning of it all…

End Search.  You are not your picture.  You are no longer alive in that frozen moment.  All your beliefs, your smell, your direction, every hair on your head is something new and different now.  Those moments are gone.  Somewhere you are making new frozen moments, like popsicles.  I can’t just move on and forget, and I don’t wanna fill the space with anything except time…

even though, not-so-secretly, I do.

 

 

~ rckstr

 

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