11/6/13 – Into The Never

I’ve always had issues with parking tickets.  After receiving yet another fine today, I’m beginning to think I have only two options:  Get rid of my car or move to a place where I have my own parking spot.  Then the question arises: Do I even need to stay in LA?  What makes this place so special?

This is a tough city.  Beautiful, mysterious, exciting and alluring, but all together tough.  I had a talk yesterday with a close friend about how spoiled I feel by the weather here.  I grew up in seasonal New England and living here in 300 days of summer SoCal has definitely warped my perspective a bit.  Strangely enough, I have thought a good deal about moving back to Connecticut because it’s where I come from and will always be home, and one of the deciding factors has become:  How will I live not being able to ride my bike every day?

I still could ride, it would just be really, really, reeeeeeeally cold.  AND!  It doesn’t guarantee me getting less tickets!!

These big decisions overwhelm me.  “How will you pay for all this?”  is a common consideration that tends to lock me up inside.  The idea that I can’t tell anyone about my plans, otherwise they’ll be expecting me to follow through, and what if I change my mind?  What if I don’t even wanna go outside today?  What if I have no idea what will happen, and everyone seems to want an answer, right now?

I don’t have any answers, I’m sorry.  I’m scattered and focused, and while that may be hard for you to understand or relate to, it’s my process and I’m doing my best.  If you’re cool with that, we can be friends!

REMINDER: Stop using the word “never” as in, “I’ll never get another parking ticket as long as I live.”  It’s all a clever set-up by the ego to make you think you’ve got it all figured out.

AFFIRMATION:  Try this instead: “I’ll never have control, I’ll never have it all figured out.”  Now THAT feels true.


“The Daily Discomfort” (or Double D) is a new series of daily reflections by Josh Kane, co-host of ‘The Shaman And The Rockstar’ podcast.

‘The Double D’ is all about keeping it real with discomfort and moving through any and all blocks to happiness.

“If you want to find a solution, stop hiding from the problem.” ~rckstr




  1. Charmedhlly says:

    Could you even consider selling your car and using the bus, or would that be to much of an inconvenience for you, getting around, Just take one day at a time.

  2. k1c4admin says:

    Selling the car definitely crossed my mind, however I often need it to get drums to gigs.
    The car and tickets are just stories; metaphors for what I’m processing in my life.

    Have you considered selling your car Charmedhlly?

    Thanks for commenting!

    ~ rckstr

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